Don't always be productive, please.

This is unlike the advice you usually hear, right? 

It is rather foolish to promote unproductivity when all the best-sellers are self-help books teaching how to be more productive.

But what if we said that our obsession with productivity might be affecting not only our professional lives but also our romantic relationships?

The fact is that we see unproductivity in a negative light because our mind isn’t designed to see it any other way.

But maybe it is not bad, but a necessary state for reflection and strategising.

Somewhere along the way, we got tricked into believing that the most successful people are constantly grinding, working every second. 

But if you really look at history, that’s not how the biggest breakthroughs happened.

Take a moment and think of the greatest inventions of our time. 

Airplanes, Bullet Trains, Solar panels? Along that line, right?

Do you notice something common in those?

Well, interestingly, they are all products of the philosophy of “Life mimics Nature.” 

This strain of philosophy argues that if we observe how nature or natural processes work, we can integrate them into our daily lives and surpass the current limitations of society. 

While the functioning of solar panels was inspired by photosynthesis in plants, the airplanes were inspired by the physiology of birds. 

Even the latest inventions like the Fuel Cells are inspired by how microorganisms produce energy.

Yet, we fail to see how the absence of productivity is an essential part of natural processes.

Nature doesn’t work non-stop.

Trees shed their leaves. Animals hibernate. The seasons change, causing a disruption.

Unproductivity is baked into the very fabric of life itself.

Giving productivity a break.

The Enlightenment has both been a boon and a bane for the world. While on one hand, it instilled rationality and scientific temper in people, it also ridiculed traditional knowledge and gave humans primacy over nature.

Any form of knowledge that did not conform to the worldview of the civilised mind was belittled and often sardonically dismissed.

The perception of productivity was no exception to it. 

What’s the most unproductive thing you can think of?

Sitting idle and looking at the sky? Mindlessly wandering on the roads?

Or maybe sleeping all day?

If you think it is sleeping all day, then consider this:

The famous mathematician Ramanujan claimed that several complex equations were revealed to him in his sleep, which some self-help gurus might suggest regulating because sleeping too much is “unproductive”.

And guess how much Ramanujan slept? From various accounts, sometimes 20 hours at a stretch. 

If you think it is wandering mindlessly, then consider this:

Before Steve Jobs did what he did with Apple, he took a break from productive pursuits and mindlessly wandered in the hills of India to reflect on his own consciousness and the nature of human psyche. 

We’re so occupied with actions that we fail to reflect on them. This not only keeps the professional successes at bay but also makes it harder for us to find a partner.

Give yourself a break to find love.

How often do you see people complaining that they’re single?

Well, talking about ourselves, our timeline is filled with such rants. 

But maybe it is a blessing in disguise. 

Being single allows you to reflect on what you want from your partner, gives you the time to emotionally rejuvenate, and even reconfigure your priorities to give direction to your life.

But the reality isn’t what we’ve described above. 

Because we value productivity over unproductivity and actions over thoughts, we’re forced to constantly aspire for a companion. 

We instantly get on social media platforms and start talking to people solely to mollify our romantic loneliness. 

And research has shown that is exactly what’s keeping us away from a romantic relationship.

In the study “It's Complicated: Our Relationship With Texting”, researcher Leora Trub found that texting to ameliorate loneliness alone can keep people away from forming meaningful connections. 

She argued that because texting fills the emotional gaps, people are less inclined to pursue things further and forge a connection with the other person.

Further, excessive reliance on productivity (actions) is counterproductive when it comes to relationships. 

To build meaningful relationships, one has to be emotionally aware. That can only happen if one takes the time to pause and think about their own thoughts, the thoughts of others, and the subjective meanings that may have been attached by people to any action. 

While it may sound minuscule, not giving importance to it can have severe consequences. Really. 

In 1897, Max Weber had a violent verbal quarrel with his father. 

In a matter of two months, his father passed away, leaving Weber in shock at how his benign words might have been perceived by his father so as to affect him this much.

It was this incident that led Weber to take a break from teaching, and it was this break that catapulted Weber into the framework he is most well-known for today, his theory on Verstehen (social action).

It was then his unproductivity that helped him understand human emotions better, and even made him successful.

So whether you want to be professionally successful or want to get into a meaningful relationship, our only suggestion to you would be:

Don’t view unproductivity negatively. Perhaps that is what you actually need.