Dating Apps: The Modern Frankenstein

Have you ever heard of Principium somniferum? That’s what morphine used to be called in earlier days. 

In the 19th century, a German pharmacist named Friedrich Sertürner isolated morphine from opium as a remedy for pain relief. He believed doing this could considerably improve the delivery of medicine to the patient.

While this did help the medical industry, little did he know that his invention would turn into a Frankenstein monster, killing the very people who were supposed to be treated through Opioid Addiction.

Fast forward to now, it’s the very cause President Donald Trump is fighting against by imposing tariffs against nations exporting active ingredients for opioids.

While you and I are not old enough to have experienced that transformation, a similar Frankenstein Monster is taking form in our lifetime, causing mayhem on a more fundamental level.

Yes, we’re talking about the Dating Apps. 

Initially conceived to connect people for romantic partnerships, people are now running away from them (quite literally).

But why?

We’ll try to cover some aspects of it in this article. But before that, we would highly recommend that you read our previous article on this, where we have introduced the problem and talked about the flawed design of these apps: Why are people tired of Dating Apps?

Now, onto our little monster.

The Rationality of Swiping

One of the best things about Capitalism is its emphasis on Individuality and Freedom. The freedom to choose what to eat, where to live, what to wear, who to marry, and so on.

If we sit in the time machine and go back to medieval times, we would realise that this freedom was given to people on the premise of an assumption- Man is a rational being.

This led to the genesis of the Rational Choice Theory, which contends that humans make choices based on their self-interest and would undertake actions that can help them achieve their desired outcomes.

Come postmodernism, we realise that rationality is nothing but the desire to ‘impose order and meaning onto seemingly random events and situations’- in the words of Harold Garfinkel.

The rational man behaves in idiosyncratic ways, at times contradicting himself, and other times oblivious to what he really desires.

When it comes to Dating Apps, it was found that there was a significant gap in who people liked based on their profiles on Dating Apps, and who they liked in real life. 

You know what the direct outcome of that is?

An overt dissatisfaction that the Dating App is unable to match them with people they really like.

But that is only one part of it. 

Choice- A Double-edged Sword

The abundance of options given to a user on Dating apps creates another problem- Indecisiveness.

It’s generally agreed that having a larger pool of potential partners could help you find the one most compatible with you. 

However, when an empirical study was conducted to determine the effects of having more options, it was found that it led to a choice overload, and even affected the self-esteem of users.

The findings of the study indicated that there is a Paradox of Choice when it comes to dating apps. The paradox postulates that the more choices we have, the less satisfied we are with the decision we make. 

And what happens when you choose a romantic partner within the contours of this paradox?

Yes, you’re less satisfied with the relationship. It is not an extrapolation, but the results of a study.

When users of dating apps were compared with non-users, it was found that the users were less satisfied with their relationships.

That explains why the outcome isn’t satisfactory. 

But what about the experience of using Dating apps? 

The Talking Trap

The only way users on dating apps can determine the suitability of their match is by talking to them. 

But two problems plague this process:

1. Talking endlessly with no intention to meet- A survey of more than a thousand Tinder users found that half of the users were not even interested in a date.

In fact, two-thirds were found to be already in a relationship or married.

Now, coming to the second problem.

2. Not talking at all- A study published in 2010 found that while men replied to around 26% of the messages they received, women replied to only around 16% of the messages.

But you know what’s worse? 

Talking to someone you think would be “the one” and suddenly getting ghosted by them. 

A study found that getting ghosted led to a reduction in satisfaction with life, and the ghostee often felt helpless or even lonely. 

And guess what? It was not only the person getting ghosted, but also the person ghosting who felt its negative ramifications. 

Not only do ghosters often feel guilty afterwards, but also shame, which leads to increased avoidant behaviour. 

So what do the users get in return for their investment of time and effort? 

Fatigue and burnout.

So, is it over for Dating Apps?

No doctor stopped prescribing opioids as painkillers if the patients badly needed them. 

Similarly, as culture rapidly shifts in the virtual realm and the internet becomes the primary medium of interactions, dating apps would also remain relevant. 

A longitudinal study found that heterosexual couples who met online went from 0% before 1995 to 22% in 2009 in the US. 

According to Pew Research, around 30% of people in the US had used a dating app in 2019.

The rational choice for the perfectly rational man would then be to tame the monstrosity of dating apps, lest they destroy their very essence.

And trust us, it is not hard to do.

For one, we could value quality over quantity of users to avoid that bitter taste. 

A strong verification system along with a subscription model for exclusivity for like-minded individuals can significantly improve the user experience, mollifying the dating app fatigue.

To tackle the problem of choice and (ir)rational swiping by users, the number of profiles shown or matches allowed can be regulated by the app itself. 

Further, machine learning can help gauge user behaviour and their preferences to improve the matchmaking process. 

And most importantly, a blend of online and offline interactions and subtle nudges to meet the match to determine their suitability can help us avoid the problem revolving around conversations. 

Dating app fatigue is real. But like most forms of fatigue, it’s also transient.

With thoughtful design and user awareness, we can turn this modern Frankenstein back into a force for good- a platform to bring people closer, rather than instilling loneliness.